is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
