College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize