as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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