I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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