If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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