I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
