youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
