ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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