You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
