Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
