So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
