It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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