i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
