im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
