her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Someone came in the potted fern
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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