I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
