I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
