Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
