Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
