Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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