You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
