oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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