Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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