My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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