Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
