I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
