Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
