I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
