As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Someone signed my nipple.
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