i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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