I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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