wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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