My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize