my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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