In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
