i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
