Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
