Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize