Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
