you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize