You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
