Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
