Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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