either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
