Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
