it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
high people should be assigned attendants
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
