I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
vagina is talking i cant
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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