Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you will always have a special place in my vag
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
