i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
