tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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