under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
