mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
