so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
