This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
