I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
