did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
