this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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