so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize