yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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