just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
