Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
