i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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