You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
