I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
