I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
