I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
