Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
