I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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