I need help removing her.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
