Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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