I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
