does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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