I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
