i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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