How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
