$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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