return my video game
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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