I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
