Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm really busy with my period
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