In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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