I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
