No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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