So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
